We are not perfect creatures nor does the life ahead of us. God promised us a happy life in His dominion. But along the way, why it seemed it isn't? We are not to blame God for the misfortunes we have. But what I believe in is what you sow is what you will reap. When you do good, God will reward. If not, God has something to teach us and make us realize our mistakes and make up for it. For me it's not a punishment but a jolt of reminder that 'Hey, that's wrong/bad my friend." Experience is a great teacher, I believe. But let it not our reason to do wrong in order for us to realize what is right. God gave us our own freewill and the ability to know what is right from wrong. So we have to be careful in what we do and say because as Bo Sanchez repeatedly says, it keeps bouncing back to you. That's what Karma is all about, good or bad. Intentionally and unintentionally, I've hurt people including the ones I love. And that brings me to become weak and at the same time hopeful that God will lift me when everything else is nowhere in sight.
In times of lows in my life including that when I'm extremely happy, I have a song that I always sing (not aloud, but in my mind). It keeps me sane, it helps me calm, it gives me hope and makes me thankful. And when I sing this, it makes me cry, always. The lyrics says all what I want to say to God. It washes all my fears, it cleanses my hurts and it lightens my load. On the other hand, it strengthens me, it gives me hope and full of gratitude to Him. I always thank Him for my two beautiful kids. Because in them I always find the unconditional love. Just a hug and a kiss from them, I know, those are expressions of true love.
Here's the words of my favorite Christian/love song:
Soul of Christ
Body of Christ save me
Water from the side of Christ
Wash me, Passion of Christ
Give me strength
Hear me Jesus
Hide me in thy wounds
That I may never leave thy side
From all the evil that surrounds me
Defend me and when the call of death arrives
Bid me come to thee
That I may praise thee
With thy saints forever
I even consider this piece as my funeral song. In my death bed, I would want this to be played over-and-over again. It's heartwarming and comforting. I feel Jesus is embracing me when I sing this song. I feel right and good. I have done wrong to others, that's why I was given pieces of misfortunes in my life. I don't feel good about it especially if those 'karma' are caused by my loved ones. It really hurts and I just want to close my eyes for not a medicine can cure it. It stings really bad. And if it's a nightmare, I just want to wake up so that it'll end.