Yesterday is payday. And I must admit, the feeling of excitement wears down gradually after you spend for the necessary things needed for the kids, the house, bills and other "necessary" obligations. The money you earned in 15 days is gone like a speed of light; like a bolt of thunder that strikes in a matter of seconds. Then no more. I make a BIG sigh. Most of the time, I just wish I have other source of income to make ends meet. I wish I have more. I whine calmly, felt weak and hopeless.
My hubby knows about my sentiments most of the time. I know he understands me because we are of the same boat. However, he is way more positive and hopeful than I am. Good thing he doesn't share the same feelings every time I vent out my side. He always tell me that we're still good no matter what, we have our two kids that brings profound joy every single day, we're healthy, we can think of ways in finding source of money and then money comes in even if it's borrowed, we're thankful that our parents are still alive and still able to help us in many ways when in dire need and so many reasons to be thankful about. I close my eyes, reflect and feel the many reasons my husband said about how lucky we still are. I felt a tinge of guilt swallowing me.
He relayed to me yesterday about his officemates' touching story. Her nephew was hospitalized due to an accident that needs to be operated because of fractured bones. Anyway, the story is not about them. It's a fellow patient that was also admitted in the same hospital. The patient I assume is still a kid. Her father is still young. I would presume that they do not have any means of living or if they have, money is insufficient. His kid do not have milk at that time. What the father did is he pawned his very own wedding ring just to buy milk for his child. That made my heart sank! My hubby told me that I should be thankful that we both have work and money comes in regularly. It's better that way even if it's not sufficient than to have nothing at all. I told him, we could also be like them if there are no good Samaritans who are willing to lend us. We are lucky still! My anxious feeling melt down after hearing that. I hugged my husband. I know that as the head of the family, he feels money is scarce too. But he diligently find ways to financially support us. I feel helpless every time he vents out his side naman. But he never runs out of hope. That's what I admire in him.
Overall, I thankfully praise God for all the blessings (of any form) He endows us. Saying "Thank you" is not enough. I feel it's not the exact word. I think it's more than that. This two words are overly used by people for the sake of saying it without feeling its essence. Genuine sincerity must come with it. "I know my Lord you know what's in my heart. It overflows with all the joy and good things that I have for you. And that speaks of how grateful I am for giving me what I need and what I have in life. That's enough testament of how wonderful you made my life be."